With every January comes a pile of lists predicting what will happen in the new year. Naturally, I thought I’d join in on the fun and do some of my own soothsaying.
The following is a list of things that I predict will happen in the year 2012. I had so much fun with this that I think I’m going to make it a regular feature here on BOR. Better yet, I’d love to hear some of your 2012 prognostications. Tweet them using the hashtag #BOR2012 and they might end up here on the blog.
In the meantime, enjoy these things that will inevitably happen this year….
- Marty Brennaman joins Twitter and immediately asks @Jamieblog for a retweet.
- Sam LeCure is cast as Yosemite Sam in a live-action Bugs Bunny biopic.
- The 2012 Reds Caravan information is announced.
- A sequel to the film Let’s Get Ready to Win is made and wins the Academy Award in every category.
- Chris Welsh grows back his moustache and it immediately begins feuding with his bowtie. The moustache and bowtie eventually reconcile, get married and have their own show on the TLC network.
- Gapper, Mr. Redlegs, Rosie Red and Mr. Red are featured on an episode of Cops.
- Thom Brennaman breaks a personal record by broadcasting 17 Reds games.
- As the ultimate sign of appreciation for his “awesomeness to the game of baseball”, the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown will devote one wing of their museum to “All Corky Miller, All the Time.”
- Reds strength and conditioning coordinator Matt Krause picks a fight with a bear and wins…and then celebrates by becoming the first man to drink peanut butter.
- The “SkyRosa” becomes the new hot dog.
- Lee May resurrects HBO’s Def Comedy Jam and becomes its featured star.
- Aroldis Chapman refines his English and begins moonlighting as an audio book narrator.
- @DatDudeBP issues his first Tweet containing no exclamation marks.
- Homer Bailey plays his first video game and gushes over the graphics of 8-bit Pac-Man.
- Dusty Baker replaces the Dos Equis guy as the “Most Interesting Man in the World.”
- A terrifying bald man named Lex Luther tries to take over the world. Joey Votto squashes his plan with a steady peppering of line drives. Soon after, the Reds team begins wearing capes as part of their uniform.
- Reds PA announcer Joe Zerhusen leaves the team to become the new voice of Frosted Flakes’ Tony the Tiger.
- Better Off Red wins the Pulitzer Prize for “Photos…With Captions!”
- A certain former baseball executive who currently works as a radio baseball analyst claims the Reds over-spent for their 2012 World Series rings.
And speaking of Twitter, if you’d like to follow some of the Reds minor league stars, here’s an incomplete list for ya…
And finally, I want to congratulate my boss and mentor Rob Butcher as he celebrates his 15th anniversary today as a member of the Cincinnati Reds family. He’s truly the best in the biz and I’m beyond grateful to have the privilege of working for him.
That’s all for now. More later.
Expect good news,