IMG_1592.JPGIn the process of introducing Jay Bruce, Reds GM Walt Jocketty is momentarily distracted by a squirrel that leaps out of C. Trent Rosecrans’ beard and onto the floor of the GABP Media Interview Room.  


IMG_1594.JPGPrior to this afternoon’s press conference at GABP, Reds GM Walt Jocketty performed 30 minutes of stand-up.  Here he tells a hilarious joke while pretending to be Don Vito Corleone.


IMG_1595.JPGReds GM Walt Jocketty reacts to boos from the first row of reporters. 



“What I asked from Santa for Christmas is frankly none of your business.  But if he happens, by chance, to have an extra Justin Bieber singing doll, it’s not like I’m going to say ‘no.'”



Here’s a photo of Jay Bruce the moment he first notices that Reds GM Walt Jocketty is actually wearing Bermuda shorts over his pants.



Jay Bruce reacts to the sock-puppet routine that Reds GM Walt Jocketty performs to close out his 30-minute comedy act.



“Let’s face it.  Who are we kidding, here?  Santa Claus was a JERK in the classic TV production of ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.’  First of all, he scolds Rudolph for being different; belittles him to the point that poor Rudy runs away from his family and into a blizzard in which he’s subjected to terrifying peril, including a frightening, blood-thirsty monster!  Ah, but get this – when greedy, self-serving Santa realizes that he can exploit Rudy and his glowing nose, he suddenly warms up to him and treats him nice.  It makes me sick!”



Reds outfielder Jay Bruce today fields questions at an afternoon press conference after he was named MLB’s Player with the Prettiest Necktie in Baseball.



“It’s true – I CAN see into the future.  I CAN play the guitar with my feet.  I CAN shoot fire out of my finger-tips.  The one thing I CAN’T do is figure out why Nicolas Cage is still allowed to make movies.”



In the middle of his press conference to announce his contract extension, Jay Bruce, out of the blue, begins singing the 1959 classic Elvis song “A Big Hunk o’ Love.”



In a press conference this afternoon at GABP, Reds outfielder Jay Bruce and Reds GM Walt Jocketty announce they are collectively taking a leave from the club to participate as contestants on the upcoming season of TV’s Amazing Race.



“Frankly, I think Tom was much tougher than Jerry.  I know that that’s going to rub some people the wrong way, but I’m sorry, that’s just my opinion.”



“Why did the Mafia have Einstein killed?  Because he knew too much!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”



Jay, first off, congratulations on your contract extension.  Second, could you please pose for us as if you were a 1940s film star?….Ah, that’s it!  Thanks!”



“And then the bear puts a saddle on the unicorn, hops on and flies off as if NOTHING HAPPENED!!  I could NOT believe it!  It was so crazy!”



“I’m sorry, I just can’t stop looking at your moustache.”



Trent, if you know anything about me, you’ll know you can’t look directly into my eyes.  Don’t even try it.  It’s dangerous.”



Just because he can, Jay Bruce gives “The Loose Cannon” John Fay the lethal “Red-Eye Laser Look”, resulting in Fay’s eyebrows to be seared completely off his face.







My sides are burning from laughter…holy cow. THIS – “Just because he can, Jay Bruce gives “The Loose Cannon” John Fay the lethal “Red-Eye Laser Look”, resulting in Fay’s eyebrows to be seared completely off his face.” – May be one of the most classic captions to ever come out of your perfectly hilarious and twisted mind, Jamie…FANTASTIC! Thank you sooo much…just perfect. haha

Thx for the smile Jamie

Thanks, Jamie! Good levity on a cold, forbidding night!

yet again, laughter fills my home courtesy of your incredible wit and humor!! LOL “The Red Eye Laser Look”… classic good stuff!!:)

I love the captions Jamie, always good for a laugh.

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