PREGAME PHOTOS 9/1…WITH CAPTIONS!

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Brandon Phillips is temporarily blinded during batting practice by Marty Brennaman’s new shirt.

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In order to see just how serious Brandon Phillips’ injured wrist is, Reds bench coach Chris Speier challenges Brandon to hit him as hard as he can with a bat.

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Party on, Miggy.

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Without a Q-tip handy, Arthur Rhodes asks Brandon Phillips to help him remove some excess ear wax.

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“C’mon baby! Let’s do the Twist!”

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Chris Valaika shows off his moonwalk.

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Juan Francisco and a bunch of dudes who just wondered in off the street shag flies in the GABP outfield.

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In a strange sight earlier today, Chris Valaika has to duck a rabid condor to field this ground ball.

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Rookie Yonder Alonso becomes the first player in Major League Baseball to use a first baseman’s mitt made out of an NFL football.

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Brandon Phillips turns to stone after staring at Marty Brennaman’s shirt.

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Miguel Cairo falls asleep during today’s stretch.

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“Simon says look down at the ground….Look up…Simon didn’t say look up.”


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Instead of hands, Brandon Phillips was born with 2 baseball gloves.

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“I once survived FIFTY-FIVE days alone in the African grasslands with nothing but a spatula and a 2-liter of Faygo.”

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“Then I had to bury myself in a cave filled with cobras, bats, spiders and mother-in-laws.  It was the scariest thing I’ve ever lived though.”

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“So then I take him by the arm and say ‘Mr. President, I guarantee this will take care of our current economic problems and put an end to the Bird Flu.’ …And that’s how Pretzel M&Ms were invented.”

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IMG_7589.JPGReds staffers and cousins, Zach Bonkowski and Chris Herrell ride to work together every morning…in the General Lee

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Juan Francisco uses a Fisher-Price model baseball glove to field grounders during batting practice.

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Joey Votto and others watch as Bill Bray is mauled in right field by a Siberian Tiger.

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Minding his own business, Joey Votto accidentally trips a bobby trap and is captured by the Ewoks.

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Scott Rolen reacts after accidentally making eye contact with the Siberian Tiger in right field.

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Just as he fields this grounder, Juan Francisco realizes his zipper is down.

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Angry that the Rice-A-Roni jingle blares on the GABP loud speakers every time he makes a play, Juan Francisco relieves his frustration by heaving a baseball into the scoreboard control room, taking out everyone responsible for the joke.

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Mr. Burns and Smithers go over some notes today before the game.

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This man wants to appear on the Great American Ball Park Kiss Cam with YOU at a future Reds game.  For details, Tweet Zach Bonkowski at Twitter.com/Bongreatness

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“You mean to tell me Bruce Willis was dead the whole time?!”

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Jonny Gomes address his bleeding retinas after staring directly at Marty Brennaman’s shirt.

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Paul Janish is unaware that the person standing just behind him isn’t Chris Heisey, rather it’s a devious alien who has morphed into the likeness of Chris Heisey in order to take over the planet Earth.

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And finally, some of you have asked about Burt BobbleRed.  Here’s an update…

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7 Comments

These are great, Jamie! Especially Rolen surviving “FIFTY-FIVE days alone in the African grasslands!” I love reading your captioned photos! Thanks for my nightly laugh!

thanks for the giggles tonight – those are priceless! :)

These are great, J-Ram! You are doing the Lord’s Work. GO REDLEGS!!!

Absolute freakin’ gold! I especially like the one about Votto being captured by the Ewoks. However, given his divine qualities, wouldn’t he just raise a hand and they would release him?

Russ
redscountry.com

Your captions were especially great!! Love it!

WATCH OUT, JANISH!! Haha, I look forward to these captions everyday. Thanks!

Jamie, is there anyway we could get a look at Marty’s shirt? maybe you could use somekind of filter to post it so it doesn’t hurt anyone. I’d like to see it.

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